Get all 14 yujin13 releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of last wish., yujin13. (sunday), yujin13. (sun), yujin13. (ghost), yujin13. (clouds), yujin13. (rain), yujin13. (tower), yujin13. (wall), and 6 more.
1. |
(untitled)
01:16
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should i be surprised?
back to this place i know too well.
i can't even bear to look at myself in the eye right now.
this is my home :
the same old song, sung in the dark inside my empty room.
just me.
and yes, no longer am i left to wonder.
and yet, i'm sitting here just left to wonder why.
the weight is lifted from my chest.
my arms and legs no longer stretch from east to west
by this device i built inside my head.
i am now free! but really? am i really? am i free?
when all i see are past mistakes that flash inside my mind so randomly?
a vivid picture painted by a mind that can't forget.
a constant question of who i'd be if we had never met.
so i move on ; separate from this empty mental state.
i turn away, opposite mistakes that i made yesterday
and the day before, and the day before
until i can't remember anymore
because that's just me.
and i'm all i'll ever be.
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2. |
sanctuary.
03:10
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i'm locked inside this room full of empty words.
these walls confine my screams for help.
there's no sign of concern.
digging deep into my thoughts ; searching for the key.
will the answer come to me eventually?
please let me go.
staring out this window ; a clear, infinite sky.
my life comes to a screeching halt, yet time passes me by.
an ironic comparison ; the scorn will always last.
disposing of a future , reminded of my past.
please let me go.
my ears are filled with laughter. i am shameful. i am wrong.
this guilt drives me into the ground.
a place where i belong is all i yearn for
all i dream for
all i long to see.
devoid of doubt , of fear , of fault ;
my own sanctuary.
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3. |
barely awake.
02:18
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fading into endless dream :
this fantasy is my reality.
is this something i really need ?
a jaded view ; too good to be true.
i realize that looking through these blurry eyes
i see more than i have ever before.
it seems that all our problems start to disappear
when we are barely awake.
recalling words spoken to me :
echoes of a recurring theme.
your pleasant face is all i see.
i wake up ; it was just a dream.
with all this weight just baring down
grinding me into the ground
it feels like i'm already dead.
as i drift into serenity i finally start to realize
that i'm barely awake.
fading into endless dream :
this fantasy is my reality.
is this something i really need ?
a jaded view ; too good to be true.
struggling to find the truth
we lose ourselves to life along the way.
the peace that we find in our sleep?
gone, as we wake up to another day.
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4. |
the cycle.
02:22
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voices lost to the exchange of heated words the night before.
i cannot sleep. the guilt ; it kills me.
the sound of crying in the other room.
two seconds of silence pierces my ears.
i block it out with this wall of sound.
decaying from consequences of audible violence ;
this fear is surrounding me.
i turn my back towards you.
i won't accept apologies made in vain.
i made the promise to myself:
"i'll never be like you."
i'll never be like you.
sincere intent to provide a better life.
ideals are memories that can no longer be achieved.
living a nightmare that was once a dream.
peace distorted into agony.
tell me have you saved me from a fate we don't deserve?
because now you're all alone. your house is not my home.
i made the promise to myself:
"i'll never be like you."
i'll never be like you.
save me from this place. i am not welcome anymore.
relinquished from elation as we're locked inside this door.
deliver me from agony ; a tragedy overlooking those
that yearn for so much more.
regression is a timely change. this time my life will never be the same.
i broke a promise to myself:
"i'll never be like you."
because now i'm just like you.
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5. |
rest.
02:49
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one more day. one more story.
adding words to this run on sentence.
this life neverends.
i'm waiting to rest.
contentment fades ; i'm done with pretending.
this plastered grin on my face starts to crumble.
this life neverends.
i'm waiting to rest.
did you seal my fate?
am i one big mistake?
is everything so meaningless
to a soul that just ceased to exist?
i won't let this be meaningless.
staring at a blank reflection.
the light just shoots from random directions.
this life neverends.
i'm waiting to rest.
drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness.
how can i possibly live with this life
that neverends?
i'm waiting to rest.
did you seal my fate?
am i one big mistake?
is everything so meaningless
to a soul that just ceased to exist?
i won't let this be meaningless.
your words are bullets that rip through my flesh.
so just line me up with the rest
and put this sack over my head.
just let it end.
did you seal my fate?
am i one big mistake?
is everything so meaningless
to a soul that just ceased to exist?
i won't let this be meaningless.
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yujin13 Chula Vista, California
the angels are already in heaven.
lux et vitae
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